STEELPULSE02
AMS1

Website Management

Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by (xxxxxxx) pilots, and the solutions recorded by maintenance engineers.

(P = The problem logged by the pilot.) (S = The solution and action taken by mechanics.)

 

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.

    S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.

    S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.

    S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.

    S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.

    S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.

    S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.

    S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.

    S: That's what they're for.

P: IFF inoperative.

    S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.

    S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.

    S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.

    S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.

    S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.

    S: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel.

Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.

    S: Took hammer away from midget